Howl at the Moon

You must all forgive Tabitha for her outburst. It is a very cruel and unfeeling thing that Mrs Potter did, taunting and mocking Tabitha for her inability to have children. And to think Mrs Potter claims to stand for the 'right' and 'just'. I never knew 'right' and 'just' involved publicly mocking someone and being so heartless. It makes me feel very glad that women like Mrs Potter are not in charge of our country right now. The ladies of society are far more gracious, elegant and polite and do not feel the need to be crass and crude.

It is an unfortunate thing and terribly unfair that female werewolves cannot have children. Male werewolves, like myself, are still able to father children if our wife is not a werewolf but that is a joy and privilege that is denied to our sisters in arms.

It is something I have always wished could be changed. Why should a female werewolf have to give up the dream of having children because of an accident that she had no control over? Unfortunately the transformation is just far too stressful on the body. Nothing can be done.

I hope that Mrs Potter will consider that next time, before she thinks to be so unpleasant again. She should place herself in Tabitha's shoes and think what it might have been like had she been unable to conceive. Maybe once she considers that pain, she might find it within herself to act with a little kindness instead of displaying her cruelty for all to see.

Added after this
[Warded to the Dark Army]
Got a job for tomorrow. Sounds pretty boring but at least it'll get us out and about for a while. We'll be helping Baby Crouch and a couple of other Death Eaters collect bodies.

Sorry, my delightful ladies of the hag. You can't come. I promise we'll bring back all the babies we find to make up for that.
[/Ward]

( [Warded Private to Self] )

[Warded to the Dark Army]
Back. Saw the Dark Lord. It was fucking fantastic.

I'm starved. I'm going off to find someplace that does a good steak. Anyone want to join me?
[/Ward]

[Warded to Rodolphus and Walden]
Saw the Dark Lord. Went great. Shit like that won't happen again. Least not from my end.

I'd do something to support the story Travers put out but I'm in too much of a fucking good mood. I'll do something in a day or two. Sob story, all that shit. Anyone in particular I should target?
[/Ward]

Placeholder for private musings

[Warded to Walden MacNair]
Your wife in the habit of making pies and sending them to me?

[/Ward]

[Warded to the Dark Army minus Dan Roarke]
Need to cool off. Going. Before I start a massacre the likes of which has never been seen before.

If the Death Eaters come, you don't know shit. This is my fight.

If I don't come back, Ursula, Tabitha, the army's yours. Don't let them push you around.
[/Ward]

[Added later... after this]
[Warded to Tabitha]
Nice smartmouthing. Do it behind wards next time. I'll cast them for you anytime. I don't want to have to deal with these little arrogant upstart arsewipes anymore than I have to.

Next time you see some shithead order before I do, let me know. I'll sort it out.
[/Ward]

[Warded to the Dark Army - charmed to flash and whistle until it is read]
All Dark Army get back to camp NOW!


Hags, I'll need you lot front and centre.

Tabitha, Ursula, get that damn Death Eater staying with us. Knock him out and tie him up somewhere.



NO ONE TALKS TO ANY DEATH EATERS ON THE JOURNALS EXCEPT ME


They are going to start showing us some goddamned fucking respect.
[/Ward]


[OOC Note: Due to Dan's writing of a certain name, both Fenrir's original entry and Dan's posts are visible to all]

You know that's not a bad picture of me though I can't remember the last time my hair was that short. Or can I? Might have been a few months after I had to shave all of it off because I got the worst fucking case of lice and fleas you've ever seen. And if you've never had lice or fleas? Those fuckers are hard to get rid of.

Pity those people are still living in the past though with those accusations. I haven't done anything like that in months. And I ain't going to do it in the future. Promise. Guess I'll just have to get used to it though. Some people just don't know how to give a man a second chance. Sad really.

Though I'll bet if I was one of their friends they'd give me not only a second chance but a third, fourth and fifth one. But because I'm not, I can't possibly ever be reformed and can only ever be evil. Everyone gets put in a little labelled box and no one ever changes in their world view. How sad that they're that close-minded.

Then again, I change every month so I guess I'm more used to the idea of change. I guess I'm more accepting of it and that change is an essential part of the world and of life. Huh, guess being a werewolf teaches you things you didn't think you'd ever learn.

And damn but I'm getting philosophical these days. I gotta stop that.

You know, I just don't get the mentality of the people who attacked the rehabilitation centre. Why attack something that's only doing good? Then again I suppose these are the same people who attacked a library (as if books are somehow dangerous - well, I suppose they are. They encourage people to think, which is obviously not what these terrorists want) so I suppose that really does sum them up really well. If it's useful and does good, burn and destroy it.

You'd think these people don't want werewolves to be rehabilitated. Maybe that's it. Maybe they want werewolves to continue to be monsters and attack and kill people. Maybe they want the people of this country to be in danger. If so, they definitely live up to their name of terrorist then - bringers of terror. What kind of lunatic wouldn't want werewolves to be calm, sensible, productive members of society? I don't understand that. Or maybe they only want certain types of werewolves to be rehabilitated? The ones who will be silent and just sit there and do nothing and not try and make society better. The kicked puppy types who let the previous government push them around and deny them jobs and treat them like animals. I guess that makes some kind of sense, doesn't it?

I'm glad no one was hurt though. I'd have been very upset if that was the case since many of the werewolves in there are there because I talked them into it. I kind of feel responsible for them and their safety and well-being. It's kind of weird, that feeling. I mean I've always been a leader, ever since I really started getting going and started gathering people to me who felt that same way I did. But I guess there's a difference between being a pack leader who's only interested in killing people and being what I suppose a real pack leader is - someone who cares about their people and protects them. I suppose I'll get used to it. Feels good so I guess it won't be too difficult.

[Warded to the Dark Army]
Congratulations. You all just got promoted. We're now the secret police.

We're going to be enforcing the taboo mentioned in Avery's post and "investigating reports of anti-state activity". The taboo causes wards to drop so none of you have to worry about having to get through them and between me, the hags and the Death Eaters that will be rostered here, we'll be able to get to the locations nice and quick.

For taboo stuff, we're to capture them but if we 'accidentally' kill them, no one's going to care as long as we bring in a few at least.

Demetrius Mulciber will let us know about the anti-governmental shit and we're to capture those people. Only kill 'em if they resist arrest. I'm sure we can arrange for that to happen.

I'll be gone for a while around dawn. Tabitha, Ursula, when I get back, come and see me in my tent.
[/Ward]

( [Warded Private to Self] )

( [Warded to Daniel Roarke] )

I hope everyone in Ottery St Catchpole is alright. From the article, it looks like Tabitha and I got there in time. I'm really hoping my former pack members will have as much success in the program as I have and I'm going to be doing everything I can to help them.

I think together we can prove that werewolves aren't people to be feared but that we can be responsible and productive members of society. I know I'm looking forward to that day.

[Warded to the Dark Army]
Alright. Tabitha and I need another fucking good deed. And might I add that this is giving me the shits in a major way.

I think we can toss rescuing someone out right away. Been there, done that and it might look a little strange if I'm apparently running around rescuing people.

Personally I like the idea of staging an attack that Tabitha and I can stop. Way I figure it, you lot come in and attack a village somewhere, Tabitha and I will come before you get started and pretend to talk you into stopping and then going into the rehabilitation program. And I think we might want to keep this to the werewolves for now. After all, no one officially knows that I've got vampires and hags under my command and they'd probably never believe it anyway. You lot have never really had a lot of laws and shit to stop you anyway.

Whaddya say?
[/Ward]

[Warded to Death Eaters & Dark Army]

[Warded to Death Eaters & Dark Army & Corbina]
FUCK
                     SHIT        FUCKERS

                                   HURTS

Long
          bottom
            the male one

Some blond bitch.


                   Fucking going to
                                               kill them both
[/Ward]

Wow. That was a real nice article they wrote about me in the paper. I didn't expect that. It was just, you know, the right thing to do. Spent so much time with my healer talking about right and wrong that I just didn't even have to think twice the other day.

And I'd like to thank the Foundation for sending me that fruit basket. That was real nice of you ladies to do that. And I'd like to apologise to the lady who came to pick up the baby. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. And I'm sorry that I frightened you. I kind of forgot I had all that blood on me from the fight. I think most of it was mine from that cut on my head if it's any consolation. Head wounds bleed a lot.

[Warded to Death Eaters & Corbina]
Should be getting an influx of new wolves into the army in the next week or two. Give that bastard's pack time to think things through then I'll approach the beta. I've met him before. He'll do what I say.
[/Ward]

[Warded to the Dark Army]
A fucking fruit basket? Who are these women?

We'll probably get the rest of that bastard's pack come to join us in the next couple of weeks. They'll be out in one of the outer camps until I'm more sure of them.
[/Ward]

Things didn't exactly work out how I planned. I met the werewolf but he was, well, kind of unreasonable. Seems he wasn't into reform and just wanted to fight. So, you know, we fought. He belted me across the head with a branch and I don't think I was out too long but he was gone when I came to.

I tracked him to a house but I was too late. He's was going nuts on the family in there. A wizarding family but I guess that's no surprise. He sounded pretty damn resentful about wizards when we were fighting. Anyway we fought again and I won but there's a problem.

You know, apart from the obvious one of a dead family and a dead werewolf and maybe the Aurors and Werewolf Services might want to get out here and clean up.

But there's a baby. Boy, I think. He's got bloody good lungs but what the hell am I supposed to do with him?

[Warded to the Dark Army]
Keep your fucking smart-arse suggestions warded under this, you bastards. I know the hags probably want it but I think I can get some fucking freedom for us out of this.

Fucker sure has got a set of lungs on him. I think I'm going deaf.
[/Ward]

I think I finally have a chance to do some real good for once. I've been waiting for this and I'm pretty excited about it. I've been talking to this werewolf. Not part of my pack, just a rogue werewolf. But he'd been causing a bit of chaos on the full moon and well, before Azkaban and me going into this program, I kind of liked that about him.

Anyway, he'd heard about what I've been doing and he's got back in contact with me over the last few weeks. At first he was pretty pissed with me, said I was betraying everything werewolves stood for. I kept talking to him though and I think I've turned him round. He wants to meet with me and talk about the program.

He's a little nervous about coming anywhere near the wizarding world, which I can understand. The wizarding world has treated him like shit. But the chance to actually have a life that doesn't involve stealing and shit just to survive kind of appeals to him. Guess he's a pretty good example of if you treat us like animals, we'll act like one but if you treat us like we're human beings then we'll remember that's what we are.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to talk to my healer and to Mr Travers about going to meet this werewolf. I think I can do some real good here.

[Warded to Dark Army and Death Eaters]
No, I haven't lost my friggin' mind. This is an old problem that I meant to deal with before I ended up in Azkaban. He's resurfaced in Devonshire and I've got a line on where he's going to be this weekend. Just wanted to put a story in place in case anyone sees me out and about, not that I tend to let them but you never know.

Spin it anyway you like, Travers. I'll toe the party line. I'd prefer you didn't say I had minders with me but you can throw the tracking charm shit out there. Say it was my first big test or something. That'll look good.
[/Ward]

You know, that big ceremony for the official opening of the rehabilitation centre was strange. I've been working with the healers since the change in government so as far as I'm concerned its been open ever since then. Seemed odd to think that it hasn't been officially open. Glad it is. Now more werewolves can find a new purpose in life, just like me. I feel like a new man.

I am itching to get out and starting doing something good with my life. I really want to make up for all the pain and death I've caused. I don't know if I ever can but I want to make a good stab at it. My healer says I need to be patient but I guess I've never really been a patient man.

I've been trying to think what I could do. I suppose working here in the rehabilitation program is an option. So is working for Werewolf Services. Both of those would give me opportunities to work closely with other werewolves and help them make a new life. So many werewolves end up like me, violent and rogue.

I'm trying to talk those who followed me into coming in and going through the program but there are a lot of other rogue werewolves out there. Werewolves like Lupin. I have a special interest in seeing that he's rehabilitated. I feel kind of responsible for him. He is one of mine after all. Be careful around him if you see him. I don't want to make his life any more difficult but he is dangerous so if you see him, let someone at Werewolf Services know so that he can be helped. He needs it.

[Warded private to Ursula]
Get your fucking arse to my tent. Now.

[/Ward]

It's kind of taken me a while to write about this next bit. Tooks a bit of talking with my healer to get it all out as well for that matter. It was kind of painful.

We got talking about what happened after I ran after my parents' deaths. You know, how I ended up doing what I did. It was kind of hard. It was a long time ago after all and it wasn't like I just turned around and said I'm going to kill people. It was kind of a... slow slide. Slippery slope is what my healer called it.

I remember I liked the power killing people gave me. Wasn't like I had any other power. Hell, I couldn't even get a job and feed myself and put a roof over my head. Talk about powerless. Killing made me feel strong, like I wasn't worthless.

My healer's been helping me find better ways of feeling that way. We're really making progress.

[Warded to Dark Army and Corbina]
Figured it might be a bad idea to say I kill people because I enjoy it. Not exactly the 'reformed and rehabilitated' kind of thing to say.

True though. I fucking love killing people.
[/Ward]

( Cut for length - not warded )

[Warded to Dark Army, Death Eaters & Corbina]
You know... there's actually not a lot of lying in that one.

Weird, huh?
[/Ward]

My healer and I got talking about my parents today. They weren't exactly what you'd call encouraging. They seemed to have this set ideal for me and they never let me forget that I never measured up to it. I figured that out after my first year at Hogwarts.

I used to spend as much time as possible at the school. It was better than being at home. Summer was always pretty bad. They were never happy with my marks. I'll be the first to admit I wasn't the best student going around but I did alright. Wasn't good enough for them.

I wonder now if perhaps they were trying to compensate... or overcompensate... because Father was a pureblood who married a Muggleborn. His family weren't too happy about that but he didn't care. He wanted to marry for love. Let me tell you, my parents never acted like they were in love. Guess it all wore off when they found out that purebloods and Muggleborns don't have anything much in common.

Guess who got stuck in the middle of it?

My healer wants to talk about what happened when I got bitten. I'm not looking forward to that one.

[Warded to Dark Army, Death Eaters & Corbina]
Aww, ain't my life tragic?

Though it just occurred to me that the family home is mine and has been for years, ever since I killed my parents. I know my father never changed his will even after he kicked me out of the house. He said he was going to but he hadn't gotten around to it the last time we argued. I should go pay a visit. See what kind of condition it's in.
[/Ward]

You know I never actually thought about how my actions affected others before. I guess I never really cared. Too angry and bitter. My healer's been making me see that though.

Never thought I'd say this but it just makes me want to do something good to make up for all the evil I've done. I've been doing my best to make the werewolves who have followed me see reason but I don't know, I guess I just want to do more. I guess I should speak to Healer Dolohov and Mr Travers about that. They've been so much help. I owe them a lot.


[Warded to Dark Army]
Ain't I just so sincere?

It's kind of fun actually. Once you get started reeling out the bullshit, it just keeps flowing. Can't wait to see if anyone bites. Those idiots usually can't help themselves.
[/Ward]

[Warded Private to Self]
This better fucking work because I'm fucking well bored out of my brain. Better be worth it.

[/Ward]